An Expression of love from me to you
by flushed puppy 15
Summary: Feliciano writes to her love, Ludovicus.
1. From the front line

Dear Feli,

It's lonesome out here, the darkness of my tent surrounds me like a fog. As I write this I am accompanied by a single candle, its flame reminds me of you so tiny and helpless looking, yet so full of hope. Sometimes when I'm alone I take the painting I made of you, so innocent and so unbearably sweet, and I dream of a place where I didn't have to fight. Where we could just sit and get lost in each others eyes, where the sky wasn't clouded with canon powder and burned flesh, where I didn't have to go out and prove something. When I stair up at the sky, late at night, I can see constellations align to meet in such a way that I cant help but smile. They look just like you, so bright and beautiful.

Just last spring my men and I were trekking across a mountain side, we were traveling to meet France, my commander didn't entail me on what we would be doing there, other than we would do battle. When he spoke with me in his tent or chambers I suppose, he told me that people would die, more than before, more than I had hoped to lose, my soldiers, my people, my family. I fear for my men, Feli, I fear for myself, but most of all I fear for you, my dear, dear wonderful love. I cant help but think of what fate would befall you should I dissipate into oblivion. Into the annals of time, into the caverns of your memory. If I fall would you remember me? Would remember the time we spent together, painting and watching the clouds stroll by?

Would you weep? Morn over my grave? I apologize, I shouldn't ask such questions especially when I'm so far way from you. But I can't help but wonder... if by chance or by luck you find a new lover.

I promise to write again soon, I love you so very much darling.

Love, Ludovicus


	2. From the bedroom desk

Dear Ludovicus,

I hope your men will be okay! Also why would you ask such silly questions? Of course I would miss you, you're one of my favorite people in the whole world, I love you. I know you will make it back fit and in one piece as will your men so don't fret. I pray for you every night, when I dream I dream of you, why on this earth would you think I wouldn't do the same if you were to vanish? Turn into pixie dust and float into the galaxy to become a star. I would look up at the sky and think of you every time, if it happened. I love you so unbearably much, every time I think of you my chest fills with longing and sadness.

Is this what it feels like to miss someone? To banish any foreign thought that is devoid of you? My heart fills with the blood of the earth when you are gone, it pools in my heart and seeps into my lungs and swims into my stomach. How terrible it must feel to be in battle and watch your men fall. I am so very, truly sorry for all the pain and misery this war has caused you. May God have mercy on the souls of your fallen, may he grant peace in their deaths, and I hope, with all the hope in the world, that I can see you again. That I can see the way you blush so maddeningly and stutter like a bird, one more time before either of us die. How I beg for that one wish. What I would give to see you one last time. The blue in your eyes and your sun kissed locks. The adoration in your voice...

It pains me to think of you in such raw abandon to ask such questions. The answers I would give you for you to come back and cease all of this senseless fighting, when do you think they will give up? When will we be granted peace? I ache for you my dear, sweet love. More than any words in my language nor yours nor any others, could express.

Your love, Feliciano

P.S

I apologize for the tear stains, I can't seem to control my emotions when I think of you. 


	3. the blood stains stick

Dear Feli,

I wish you the best of luck in your chores, with me gone I'd think Roderich is driving you into insanity. I chuckle at the thought, late at night when no one is around I silently think to myself what you must look like now. It's been at least a month or so now, what have you been doing? Are you still painting those wonderful works of arts? Or are you cooking pasta? I do hope your Master has given you some leeway on the matter of food. I remember when he used to crush you under his boot when you stole food, how angry that made me. Back then I wish I had told him to stop that, to at least give you something other than bread and water. Maybe something to remind you of home since I know you miss it so. What was it like being with your Grandfather? What kind of cultures did he tutor you on?

Please answer me soon. As far as battling we are doing quite fine, the war has certainly taken its toll, so many lives have been snuffed like candles in a wind storm. The fields, once filled with life, have been dyed red with the blood of my people and the enemies alike. Sometimes I forget what I'm fighting for, I get lost in the carnage and go numb from the stench of rotten flesh.

But then I remember you and your sweetness and honey, you are the reason I am bathed in blood right now. Not so we could become one, but so you could be safe, that's all that matters to me right now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you how I felt sooner, but I guess nerves just got me worked up. It's odd how we think isn't it? We're able to live a thousand years and not even blink and yet we hold on to our memories like treasure troves. I hope I don't sound like a loon, I suppose I'm just tired.

Goodnight love.

Yours always, Ludovicus 


End file.
